I read something not too long ago by a Dr. Arnold LeUnes, a professor of sports psychology at Texas A & M. I might normally have excerpted it, but it was excellent just as is, so I contacted Dr. LeUnes for - and got - his permission to reprint the article in its entirely. If I had to give it a title, it would be:
KIDS' SPORTS - FOR THE KIDS... OR FOR THE GROWNUPS?
COLLEGE STATION, Texas - When it comes to playing sports, winning is definitely not everything. In fact, it doesn't even rank in the top five priorities - at least for the majority of children, says Texas A&M University sports psychology professor Arnold LeUnes."There's been study after study done showing, on average, winning with children under the age of 14 is about sixth, seventh, or eighth in priority, and number one, in every study asking children what they would like to get out of sports, is fun," LeUnes said.
Unfortunately, too many children's experiences with sports are jaded by the unrealistic evaluations and expectations of parents, he said. Because sport is such a part of popular culture, the pressure to excel is something many children must deal with.
There is nothing wrong with parents hoping that their baseball-playing child grows up to play for a professional baseball team, but there is a problem when parents become unrealistic about their children's talent, ability and chances, LeUnes said.
"You're much more likely to get struck by lightning than you are to become a professional athlete," LeUnes said, crediting Berkeley sport sociologist Harry Edwards for the stark comparison.
LeUnes believes that parents sometimes fall victim to pressuring their children because they associate their children's performance with their own parenting skills. Parents can see their overbearing involvement and interactions with their children and their children's sport as a validation of good parenting, he said.
There are several things, LeUnes said, parents with children participating in sports should remember.
Parents should let the coaches coach the game, and they should not harass the officials, he said. Undermining a coach's or an official's authority in front of a child not only provides a poor example of behavior, but can be a distraction and embarrassment to the child.
Parents should focus on the positive and avoid criticizing their children's performance after the game, LeUnes said. Though this can be difficult to do, parents need to be realistic and realize their children won't immediately develop the skills to excel.
Despite the media's glamorization of individual superstars in the sports world, parents should impart the importance of teamwork to their children, he said. LeUnes said he agrees with UCLA basketball coaching legend John Wooden's comment, "The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team."
"One of the worst things about youth sports is teaching a 9, 10 or 11-year-old child that this is a forum for them to display their uniqueness and individuality - I don't think that's appropriate, and I see a lot of it," LeUnes said.
Instead of the dashed hopes of highly improbable scholarships and even less-likely professional stardom, LeUnes believes that when it is all said and done, a child should take away from sports feelings of self-worth and confidence as well as a sense of competence from handling both triumph and adversity.
"I do believe that lessons learned on the athletic fields generalize to everyday life," he said.
Reprinted by permisson from Dr. Arnold LeUnes, Professor of Sports Psychology, Texas A & M University, College Station, TX